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Posted

Item Description: This sale is for one (1) human slave.

 

Condition: Good, but he has a slight speech impediment and cannot make an 'e' sound without extending it to an unnatural degree.

 

Shipping: Free to collect, otherwise train/plane is probably the best option — coach will do. Costs too variable to list.

 

Pricing: Open to all offers, although I may require some kind of rider to get the slave on board; I have yet to discuss this deal with him, although his partner has agreed to the sale.

 

So it's clear what you'll be bidding on, below is a photo of said slave:

 

flinkywinkydink.jpg

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Posted
Nah, I think I sold all those. Fire energy card, perhaps. :heh:

Sorry, ÂI'm afraid that due to living in Credit Crunch Britainâ„¢ I can't really let him go for that price.

 

If anyone happens to be willing to trade the three Pogs that I'm missing from the World Tour series, that would be great.

Posted
I'll bid about 20ish back copies of nom and 1 billy hatcher and the giant egg demo for Gamecube/Wii

I can't say I've any real interest in those things, but you're still currently the highest bidder and I'd like to get this slave off my hands before William Wilberforce starts knocking on my door.

 

I'll get back to you if there's no improvement on your offer.

Posted

Aww come on its a PAL Gamecube Demo, how rare is that, like Uuuuuber ultra, besides you don't win by bring out the gold at the start. Perhaps for my next bid I will offer up the demo with the actual game.

Posted

You've gotta try harder than that, son.

 

Aimless, give this fella some help here. He's not haggling well at all. I tell ya what. There's only one of me. I ain't one of your manufactured Argos goods, or numerous copies of Pro Evolution Soccer. NEIN. They started my conveyor belt, and stopped after one. I am the prototype, original and limited edition, all into one.

Posted
Question: is the boy under 18? I'm not interested in any item that has aged.

 

Also, do you swap? I have a collection of "new" items.

He's 22 in a week, so there's still several years of prime service left in him. He isn't "aged", he's experienced.

 

I'm actually looking to get out of the slaving game, but it's possible that my business partner is on the lookout for a replacement once loosing this one. You should speak to her.

Posted

22... hum, not that much value in that age really. I guess I could give up food for him. But then I'd probably be hungry... and he'd need food too. I can see this turning into a siutation full of hunger and sexual tension (from him obviously). I'll have to pass.

Posted

Will you accept 4 radish and a bowler hat?

Posted
Will you accept 4 radish and a bowler hat?

Hmm, the bowler hat could be of some practicality given my business partner's latest investigative venture, but I'm unsure as to the use of radishes outside salads and stir fries. A vegetarian recipe book would certainly sweeten the deal, although naturally the acceptance of any offer is not my decision alone.

 

Oh, are radishes a form of currency in Shetland? If so that could be of some use given how tumultuous the foreign exchange market is at the moment; the pound is going up and down like a yo-yo.

Posted
Technically, since I own myself, don't I decide who gets to own me?

 

I got sold for two camel-shaped dildos a while back so don't worry about it. The bourgeoisie just try and control what they know are superior to them.

Posted

No better offers?

 

This item comes with a lot of good options, just so you know.

For example, when set to the entertainment mode, he will tell bad jokes, or even play a videogame with you. Yes, he can play games, and he will even let you win!

He is also programmed so he can cook certain things, such as brownies, pizza and lasagne. More programming is needed for him to learn more recipes though, but he's a quick learner!

 

Honestly people, I need a decent price before I can let this item go. If not, I'm afraid I will have to keep it for a while longer, sadly.

Posted

Ok new best offer. I'm offering a killer robot starter kit consisting of a damaged gamecube laser and an AVR butterfly board where the killer robot's brain can be stored. The kit does not include a killer robot, but I'm sure once attached to one the gc laser can be configured to fire destructive beams.

 

So this offer includes: 1 laser, 1 butterfly micro controller, 1 serial cable, (woot) 1 set of documentation however you will have to write the killer robot program yourself. Will offer to lease slave to you for X amount of months to put said killer robot together.


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