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Fierce_LiNk

It's Not Over Til It's Over

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This is a bit of a strange thread, but I've been meaning to do one like this for a long, long time.

 

Basically, when life treats you like shit, and you look to the stars for some help, what is it that keeps you going? Is there something in your life that someone has said or done that gives you hope to carry on?

 

I've got a bit of a strange one. A few months ago, when I was down in the dumps, I was close to running away, and at one point even thought of doing something worse. Needless to say, I was in that place where I didn't know what to do, or how to get out.

 

Then, I came across this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A99x8Rw7H-4

 

It's the Champions League Final from 1999, where Man United won it in the dying seconds. I can't remember how I came across it, I think my brother sent me the link to it via MSN. Its the last 6 minutes of it. Instantly watching it took me back to how I was as a child, watching this game, and when I watched it on youtube I felt those feelings come back. Watching it, it didn't seem like we had a chance. We just couldn't get close enough, and it seemed like nothing would go our way.

 

Then, by some divine miracle, we managed to score. Just hearing those eerie words from the commentator before we scored sent shivers down my spine. I must have watched this video about a dozen or so times on repeat, each time not thinking we had a chance, but then being proven wrong.

 

It made me cry, as it reminded me of how things were going in my life. I wasn't getting close anywhere, I didn't even have enough money to run away. Then this video came along. It probably saved my life.

 

Now whenever I feel hopeless, or I feel that life cannot get any better, I put this on, and it makes me believe, again.

 

My question to you is what makes you believe again?

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I'm very strange. In a wierd way I relish feeling sad. I use it towards making music.

 

But I haven't been sad since 2005.

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When something gets me down, I have this natural defence mechanism of going into some kind of mental shell. I stumble home, swallow some whisky, lose myself in a video game and then fall asleep until the local Chinese take-out is open again. Then I just slump in front of the telly or a movie, finish any work I need to do until four in the morning and wake up on schedule feeling tired but a bit better for it. Repeat until the damage has been repaired.

 

It's not healthy really, but a combination of it and my mother probably saved me from suicide during my childhood. Minus the whisky and Chinese food of course.

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The sweet thought of revenge pulls me up the steep slopes of living.

 

Going for a long walk usually clears my mind.

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One thing that kept my chin up a few years ago, when nothing was good, nothing was great, everyone around me I wanted to hate etc., was this nice little scoreline:

 

Aston Villa 1-0 Bayern Munich

(Withe 67)

European Cup Final

26th May 1982

Feyenoord Stadium, Rotterdam

 

It still hasn't sunk in that it truly happened, although I didn't see it, like Man U in 1999 or Liverpool in 2005, the truth we still won it, and it is unbelievable to know that it happened, especially as we know it is something our bitter rivals won't ever achieve. And so it keeps the spirit of every Villa fan alive in the hope of seeing it happen again.

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I'm currently going trough some kind of slump in my life, and suicide seems so right and yet so far-fetched that don't even think about it. I know there's way worse situations to be in, but our problems seem always huge even when compared to starving children, and I'm unable to put it in context.

 

And then I look at the stars while listening to the same musics I've been listening for the past decade, getting nostalgic and philosophical. It only makes things worse.

 

Honestly, I don't know what keeps me going, probably the time I waste doing something unproductive that distracts me from my useless existence (wow, that so emo). Just like what I did just now.

 

Edit: OK people, I just used this as to vent out some frustrations, not to kill the thread. Go, on.

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Ever since my uncle took his own life I've been against suicide (sounds quite stupid). I now try and let nothing get me in the dumps, so much so I think the sun shines out of my arse and I think I'm better than everyone.

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I don't really get depressed or lost but if I'm a bit down I watch The Simpsons on DVD.

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Man Flinky your on a thread creating frenzy at the moment! Hmm I often feel quite down and either I find something that makes me feel excited or kind of sparks my imagination ironically it was alastair cambells diarys last night on tv! Or makes me laugh like the daily show.

 

When I used to be in my really horrid room at uni last year one time I was uber depressed but two things that please a man helped me out of that in about 2 horus. Casino Royale and my girlfriend! IN THAT ORDER ROFLCOPTER etc!!

 

No not just becasue I would die by her hands if she ever saw that but my girlfriend always always makes me feel happier.

 

Ps flinky when are you back on msn I miss our late night talks about nothing :(

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The one time I've been really sad, what reassured me was that when I died - I rotted in the ground. Therefore, I should stop wasting time.

 

However, this doesn't make people happy that often... I'm just weird like that.

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Recently I've been feeling down, wanting to stay in my room and do nothing at all. Just lay down in bed and watch the days go by.

Watching an anime like Eureka 7 has really affected me, it's really strange, like I'm missing something in my life.

I just watched the video you posted Flinky and that made me smile.

I love United.

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I've been in the place Flinkys on about. About 2 years ago something happened and it made me so depressed, verging suicidal. I think what brought me back was the simple fact that I wasn't going to let the depression 'win' and that I still had things to look forward to, stuff I wanted to achieve etc. I vowed from that day never to be like that again no matter what the circumstances.

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On a side note that Champions league final is amazing it already feels like a part of legend.

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I'm a bit like Somme , in the respect that I sort of get off on negativity. I also use it to inspire musical composition and if I don't have that negativity I really struggle creatively. But it has also been a while since I last hit any real down time.

 

One way I tend to bring myself back up is to consider that I know that however bad things seem to be for me that there are always so many others out there that are worse off so I use that to kick myself back into life.

 

Other ways I deal are just to create me-time , where I make sure that I just do the stuff that I enjoy without outside interference from anyone. This will usually involve cranking up some music and headbanging around the lounge like a loon , always seems to work.

 

Failing that , give me a Sunday evening , NFL on the box , pizza delivery on the way and Jack Daniels by my side , and I really couldn't be more at peace with life.

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Gerrard-Carragher.jpg

 

"Game over"

 

Fuck off Andy Gray: peace:

 

Like Brian Reade said "Just Look at that scoreboard, and never stop believing..."

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Fuck off Andy Gray: peace:

Never liked Andy Gray, smug twot with an a. And I don't even follow football.

 

However, as I mentioned in another topic somewhere, to feel good. Watch Ghostbusters 2. I shit you not. It really made me feel good. Plus my Sig quote always brings a smile to my face as a result.

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Never liked Andy Gray, smug twot with an a. And I don't even follow football.

 

Don't say that about Andy Gray, the man's a legend.

 

[scottish Accent]Take a bow, son![/scottish Accent]

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Yes Alan Hanson is a tit.

You know who else is a tit, Mark Lawrenson.

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I might be confusing my hate for Gray for that of Alan Hanson.

 

Yes Alan Hanson is a tit.

You know who else is a tit, Mark Lawrenson.

 

But what about Alan Shearer and David Pleat? both of them talk nonsensical bollocks...

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However, as I mentioned in another topic somewhere, to feel good. Watch Ghostbusters 2. I shit you not. It really made me feel good. Plus my Sig quote always brings a smile to my face as a result.

 

YOUR LOVE! LIFTING ME HIGHER AND HIGHER!!

 

[You are back in my cool books]

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What tends give me a positive view of life back is Scrubs and (the ultimate cliche) my friends. :smile:

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In the words of Pac - "After each dark night theres a bright day after that"

 

"Pac" (who the hell is he? :wtf:) obviously didn't live in the arctic circle, did he? :heh:

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