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Why you're a dumb ass


Wesley

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Okay, so I'm thinking it takes guts to tell people why you're an idiot. So lets do it.

 

I'm a dumb ass because in my first week of 6th form I got dared to take loads of Pro Plus. Being the kind of dumb ass I am I accepted. So in a common room full of people I didn't know, for my first impression on them they would of saw me swallow as fast as possible about 40 something Pro Plus tablets. That just look like little white tablets. So great, now half of the people in 6th form think I'm a hard drug user.

 

For the rest of the lunch I went around with my friends and basically I was really hyper and looked like a freak. So then when it came to my lesson I found out it had been canceled. So then thinking, "Of thank God I wouldn't of been able to of gone to lesson thinking like this." I decided to look for people. Wow, time flies when you're looking for people and all hyper; for 2 hours I had walked in between the three schools (the joint 6th form has 3 schools) about a million times and didn't realise it. Lots of friends got kicks from seeing me all hyper and my eyes looking all weird.

 

Then I got home and the fun stopped. I was dizzy and felt really ill. My mum left for work and I spent 3 hours just laying on my bed trying not to throw up. I couldn't concentrate on anything and my heart was going crazy. About 3 hours later I'm in the same state and suddenly I just vomit everything inside of me into my bog. I spent most of the night just throwing up and shitting. God, this was cool.

 

Once I'd thrown up for a few hours I just laid on my bed until about 4 o'clock not being able to do anything whilst trying to keep calm because my heart was skipping like a loony. I must of fallen asleep because I remember waking up (wow that sentence made me sound intelligent) at 6 for school. I went to school but had to duck out early because I kept feeling sick. After about 5 days my crap went back to normal and I had an appetite at last.

 

So that's why I'm a dumb ass.

 

Also because I'm typing this while I have 2 A Level exams tomorrow that I haven't revised for.

 

So er... why are you as dumb as me?

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Oh, God, it was hard to think of one exact story. But, I found one, fairly recent, too.

 

Bare in mind, I have only recently just started drinkng.

 

A few weeks ago, I was out with two of my coursefriends, and one of their boyfriends. He pretty much forced me to drink a lot of Guiness, and I ended up getting a wee bit tipsy. Then, I more or less blurted out that I fancied somebody off our course, who we were all good mates with. I noticed they started txting her, but I dunno what they said...

 

A week later, we all went out again, and she came with us. Before she arrived, they were all taking the mick outta me, because I kept looking over towards the door waiting to see if she had arrived yet or not. Well, she arrived, and I got a bit drunk again. (:shakehead) The next bit is stupid. I whispered to my mate "pppsssst, Jo's got a nice arse, 'asn't she?!" But, I said it more and more throughout the night, and the whispers got louder due to my drunken state. Eventually, the whispers became...well...shouts.

 

We were all walking down the street, and Jo was infront of us, and I can remember pointing and staring at her exterior. "Suzanne, 'asn't jo got a great arse?!"

 

Then I saw my housemates who I'll be living with next year, and this was the first time I was drunk in their prescence. "Hey guys! Hi Five me baby, yeah!"

 

"oh God, jim"

"YEAH! I know! Oh yeah! YOu see HER OVER THERE *points* Well, I fucking fancy her!"

"jim, ssssssssssh"

 

Yeah. If she doesn't know by now she'll never know.

 

At one point, I think there was even a song about her arse. Jesus...

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Oh... my... dear... Lord...

 

You sang... a song about this girl's ass? Just think about that for a moment...

 

"I like big butts and I cannot lie......"

 

Dude, good story.

 

When I was on summer leave last year I went out with all my mates I hadn't seen in ages. Went to the usual haunts, got more hammered than usual and even though I hate clubs (the ones here mostly) we went anyway. I went in, had a few more and then I was in blackout mode then. I was told that I grinded with a fat bird (I have a brief glimpse of a memory of this), got rescued from that, started a mosh pit when they randomly played "Killing in the Name" by RATM (again, brief glimpse), almost got into a fight, met loadsa old school friends (I only got told this a few weeks ago when I met said friends again, thinking I hadn't seen them in years). Was a fun night cuz my friends bailed me out of the bad stuff.

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I'm a dumbass because I still haven't got a Wii.

 

I'm a bigger dumbass because I've been playing guitar for 4 years and I still don't know how to put a string on a guitar!

 

Neither have I...

 

As for the guitar... well that's your average guitar player.

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Okay, so I'm thinking it takes guts to tell people why you're an idiot. So lets do it.

 

I'm a dumb ass because in my first week of 6th form I got dared to take loads of Pro Plus. Being the kind of dumb ass I am I accepted. So in a common room full of people I didn't know, for my first impression on them they would of saw me swallow as fast as possible about 40 something Pro Plus tablets. That just look like little white tablets. So great, now half of the people in 6th form think I'm a hard drug user.

 

For the rest of the lunch I went around with my friends and basically I was really hyper and looked like a freak. So then when it came to my lesson I found out it had been canceled. So then thinking, "Of thank God I wouldn't of been able to of gone to lesson thinking like this." I decided to look for people. Wow, time flies when you're looking for people and all hyper; for 2 hours I had walked in between the three schools (the joint 6th form has 3 schools) about a million times and didn't realise it. Lots of friends got kicks from seeing me all hyper and my eyes looking all weird.

 

Then I got home and the fun stopped. I was dizzy and felt really ill. My mum left for work and I spent 3 hours just laying on my bed trying not to throw up. I couldn't concentrate on anything and my heart was going crazy. About 3 hours later I'm in the same state and suddenly I just vomit everything inside of me into my bog. I spent most of the night just throwing up and shitting. God, this was cool.

 

Once I'd thrown up for a few hours I just laid on my bed until about 4 o'clock not being able to do anything whilst trying to keep calm because my heart was skipping like a loony. I must of fallen asleep because I remember waking up (wow that sentence made me sound intelligent) at 6 for school. I went to school but had to duck out early because I kept feeling sick. After about 5 days my crap went back to normal and I had an appetite at last.

 

So that's why I'm a dumb ass.

 

Also because I'm typing this while I have 2 A Level exams tomorrow that I haven't revised for.

 

So er... why are you as dumb as me?

 

YAZZZZZZZZ!!! CAFFINE PILLS FTW!!!

 

I can go one better though: Try a 24 pack of pack of "red kogas" (now banned in the North of Ireland). :D It's fun for like an hour. Then the palpitations start as does the feeling of impending doom.

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I have done something similar to the pro plus, although no-one thought I was a dumbass, just entertaining.

 

A few years ago I injured my wrist and was on some very strong pain killers. This also coincided with me ordering a big box of mountain dew (the most wonderfull drink in existence) and my first year exams at uni, requiring lots of late night cramming aka Pro Plus

 

So, for about a week, untill my friends sat me down and had a chat I was barely sleeping, and living on almost nothing but ginsters, pro plus, mountain dew and pain killers. It was one of the weirdest weeks and I can remeber so little, except that my teeth turned green.

 

Incidentally, I did well in the exams.

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I'm a dumbass because last time I went rollerblading I fell over...normally that would be dumbass enough except when I fell my leg went one way and the rollerblade decided to go another. I broke my leg in 3 places and fractured it in another 3....

 

What I haven't decided yet is if it is stupid that I'm going to do rollerbalding again on Saturday for the first time in 10 years...I guess I'll find out soon enough...

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If you break your leg again can we get some pictures?

 

Its a deal. I'll take my camera with me and I can give you minute by minute detail. :heh:

 

I'm not sure if I'll be able to take a picture of the paramedics relocating my jagged bone back into place...but I'll try.

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