Posted May 13, 2007 Decided to put this in here as it affects the whole board. He posted this in the staff chat a day or two ago, sorry about the delay. Some of it is slightly relevant to the staff more than everyone, but he does say he wants everyone to know whats happened, he feels as if he owes everyone that. This is probably the last post I'll be making, at least for a while anyway. Feel free to copy and paste it to the rest of the board if need be, they have a right to read this as well, cos a lot of them I do consider to be my friends, Joe, Katie and that. Consider it my last favour. I haven't had the heart to delete my account. I want to, but I dunno if I still can since I de-admined myself. The past few months have taken its toll. It's been down, further down, high notes, but inevitably it ends up on a low note. It always does, not just Becky, but everything. I was never meant to achieve anything great, as it mostly ends in heartache, or with me being forced to move on, but not me ever having the choice to. It's always forced on me. Doesn't matter how much I care about something, because it's never down to me or how I feel, but always others. It's been a generally shit year, probably the worst it's ever been, and I've had some damn right horrible years. Nothing seems to have gone right, or how I planned. And no matter how much I try to change things, it doesn't matter, it's inevitable that things will never work. It's not meant to. This drinking thing isn't me, and I'm totally unphased by it too, which makes me sad. I had a friend who was shocked at me and pretty damn disappointed that I took one of my beliefs, which I held pretty strongely and more or less flushed it down the toilet. I don't know exactly why I did it. But the general idea is that I ain't happy, and I haven't been since January. Since then, it's been like a cloud has always been over my head, or a weight on my shoulders that I can't break free of. I'm an idiot, I know, and I have started to do foolish things. I'm sane, I'm pretty sensible. But now I also know that I don't have to be, and that I can choose to switch off. I don't really believe in much else anymore. I've still checked over here, to see how things are going, and Jordan is right, I do miss this place. It's like a second home to me, and I know I'll always feel welcome here. This place isn't the problem, but the problem is me. The only reason I've logged back on is to check the staff boards, I can pretty much access everything else without logging on. But, I felt I needed to post this here first, as I've let you guys down. But, that ain't gonna change anything. I am feeling like crap, and I'll literally do anything now to stop myself feeling that way. I've been going out a lot, having a good time with friends, but in the end, what's the point if you're not happy as soon as you go home? What's the point if you know tomorrow you're gonna feel just as shit as the day before? It's worthless and above all, it's pointless. There is no point to anything. I can't pretend anymore that things will get better, because I'm only fooling myself. I'm going to leave it at that now. I'd appreciate it if you guys deleted my account. I'll just end up signing in again, but if I can't see these boards, then maybe its better that way. I'll just leave you with a small note (and he's right, it's not meant to be). Don't be mad at me, or sad, there was nothing any of you could have done. This is just how it's meant to end, on a cold and bitter low: When the routine bites hard And ambitions are low And the resentment rides high But emotions wont grow And were changing our ways, Taking different roads Then love, Love will tear us apart Again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 God damnit. I don't know if you're watching Flink, but keep your chin up. I've been through hell too, it's hard and there's nothing no one can say. Just don't give up. And if one day you feel like it, come back. We weren't exactly personal friends, but I respect you a lot. See you later. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 Dang Flinky. I really hope you come back at some point. Take whatever time it needs. We're here for you man. Youve got freaking loads of friends on here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 It really is truly remarkable how much of a difference this man has made to this community, and how much his absence has been felt. I don't think anyone here either blames or pities him, but in his dark hour, I think we are all left wishing we had the power to light his way or share his load. Wherever he goes and whatever he does, through success and failure, our thoughts will go with him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 I really hope he's ok.I hope he has much success in the future and we see him again. He will always be in our hearts and always thinking about him.He will be missed. He has a lot of friends and respect here and we will always hope he appears again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 I have absolutely no idea what to say.. Nothing i can post is actually going to make any difference or make anyone feel better, and there's a chance he won't read this.. But i just don't get why this year's sucked so bad.. i'd feel worse if i knew what's happened, but it's not like i can just get him to tell us. That's unfair and all that. Anyway chin up eh?. Sorry thinks didn't work out with whatever's gone on. =/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 This is the most ambiguous stuff I ever read. Good luck, Flinky. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 Well, if you're reading this Flinky, best of luck, and I'm sure you can see that you'll be welcomed back if ever you decide to return. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 If your reading this, bare in mind if you ever do need cheering up, then pretty much everyone here is a Frequent Poster upwards will be perfectly happy to do so... Why did you have to leave? No offence intended to the others, but you're the one mod/admin I've always trusted, respected, and, to be quite frankly honest, looked up to. I think I speak for everyone when I say you'll be massively missed, not least by myself. I feel this is a good time for some of the wise words of good ol' Bob Dylan: May God bless and keep you always, May your wishes all come true, May you always do for others And let others do for you. May you build a ladder to the stars And climb on every rung, May you stay forever young, Forever young, forever young, May you stay forever young. May you grow up to be righteous, May you grow up to be true, May you always know the truth And see the lights surrounding you. May you always be courageous, Stand upright and be strong, May you stay forever young, Forever young, forever young, May you stay forever young. May your hands always be busy, May your feet always be swift, May you have a strong foundation When the winds of changes shift. May your heart always be joyful, May your song always be sung, May you stay forever young, Forever young, forever young, May you stay forever young. Best of luck, Flinky. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 Life is full of ups and downs, I hope you get yourself back up on a high soon. Best of luck to you and get back with us when you're ready! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 It's sad to see someone who's made such an impact to this community feel so low If you read this flink, chin up. We're all here for you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 Well I think of him as much of a friend as any of my real life mates and i'm personally shocked. I know what he's been through but I didn't realise it'd got that bad. If you do end up reading this Jim then this is for you. I know you've had quite a lot of shit recently and that you probably think whatever you do to make you feel better is futile because the day after it'll be shit, we've been in the same boat. Shared the same shitty problems. At the end of the day things do get better when you least expect it, that's what you've taught me since i've known you. You always have to find some good in situations and can't focus on the bad in everything like I used to because it makes you feel like you do now. The world is NOT against you and you're NOT destined to fail. Life has it's ups and downs, unfortunately we know better than anyone you can't be happy all the time. And when the shit happens it's how we deal with it that makes us who we are. You'll pull through, I want to see the old Jim back. It's probably a good idea that you're taking time out to re evaluate things, but remember you have friends which at the end of the day are like gold dust when you feel shit. Don't stay away too long *waits for jim to come online * PEEM XD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 Well...what to say I am gutted....have always loved Flinky...only thing to say is I really hope he sorts his problems out and comes out of the hard times as a better person. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2007 Jim I don't know if you're still reading but just in case you are... Like Joe said I think of you as a real friend and would hate to see you go. I hope your break from the boards doesn't mean you'll be leaving msn too. When you said you had to go the other day it didn't feel like you just meant offline and I haven't seen you since. I hope you're feeling happier soon and will stay in touch, it's always great to talk to you. Even though you claim I'm the one that rambles when really it's you that will talk rubbish and tell any story of your day. Come back soon Jim we'll miss you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2007 I won't wish for him to come back, it would be nice, but doing so won't change anything. If he feels the need for a break then there's no-one who can change his mind. I'll miss our mini discussions, I mean mini , in the Footy thread. Sayonara. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2007 I will miss you Flink! You always helped me out whenever I needed it, and were always there for members. But we all know you cannot leave here. Just as Meik has come back. No one can escape this mighty forum. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2007 Talk about abrupt! Hmmm, I'm sure he'll be back, I mean sure wont he still be using the Internet for other things? It only takes a second to check here and see what the news is. Ah well, if you do peek into this thread, all the best Fierce_LiNk and be sure to get your life sorted out old chum. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2007 Hey Fierce, I hope you have the strength to see this bad chapter out, and I truly hope you can one day come back. There is no doubt in my mind that this place will miss you. Take care. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2007 I'm not too sure what to say. I don't know how Fierce is feeling at the moment. But I will say that I've been down in the dumps before, but I never felt completely depressed. I always believed that there was light at the end of the tunnel, and I have gone through a lot of tunnels... Keep your chin up, Flinky, and always know that we all love you at N-Europe, and we always will. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2007 Keep your chin up you little trooper! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2007 So basically the best admin has left, damn this place is going down the drain whos taking over I want Hero to be an admin, and maybe Ashley ([Girls_Name]) a normal moderator. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2007 Although I never really spoke with you, I will miss you, as will the entire community. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2007 So basically the best admin has left, damn this place is going down the drain whos taking over I want Hero to be an admin, and maybe Ashley ([Girls_Name]) a normal moderator. Can I just say what everyone else may be thinking? You've come in here, where everyone is giving words of encouragement to Flinky who is going through a rough time, and say N-Europe is going down the drain and Ashley should be demoted? Go forth and multiply. I really miss Flink, he was awesome, always made me laugh and was one of my favourite forumers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
