Do my Penguin for me

[Guest Stefkov]

Cheers man. Figures the third question wouldn't be hard...

 

Theres moe questions but I don't want to type them out and get help. It's kinda a mock exam I had to take home...:P

[Ginger_Chris]

Cheers man. Figures the third question wouldn't be hard...

 

Theres moe questions but I don't want to type them out and get help. It's kinda a mock exam I had to take home...:P

 

Anytime, i'm currently hitting my head on the desk over the "is this maths right" thread. sigh. I like this thread, sensible questions get asked here.

[Problematique]

Chris, do you know where I can get some good stuff on partial differential equations? We bombed through it in two lectures and, well, I learnt nothing. Which is annoying because it's kind of important in quantum which I really need to do well in.

 

Haha. Lol.

 

[Ginger_Chris]

The two books I've used for all my maths are:

Mathematical methods in the physical sciences, Mary L. BOAS

Mathematical methods for physical sciencs and engineering, Riley, Hobson, Bence

 

They have pretty much all the maths you need for quantum. They start off with the basics (good for reminders) but quickly moveto the standard you need. Hope that helps.

[Problematique]

Cheers. I did get Boas out once but I promptly shat myself because it wasn't really that nice. I'll have a look at the Riley. I might also see if the Advanced Edition of the book I'm using (Stroud, Engineering Maths) will help...

 

Thanks for the help!

[Supergrunch]

That's a coincidence... I was doing partial differential equation last Friday. Heat distribution along a metal bar and all that.

[Tellyn]

Hello N-Europe! I come to you in the darkest of times...

 

9. Describe how a Brownfield site might look on an OS map.

 

Anyone who can do that gets a kiss.

[spirited away]

Ummm, 81 ^3/4? I would say 9 but I don't have a clue 'cause I wasn't there for the lesson. Help would be great

[Fresh]

27 mate........

[spirited away]

27 mate........

 

Ahh, you quad root then cube it? Dunno what I did.

[KingJoe]

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high.

"I'll tell you what," said the cynic. "Ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do."

He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called the waitress over.

"When my friend returns," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond 'one third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you." She agreed.

The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?"

The waitress looked pensive, almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, "Um, one third x cubed?"

So the cynic paid the check. The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered under her breath, "...plus a constant."

 

(robbed straight off google)

[Ginger_Chris]

But only if the integral was with respect to x, else it would be like y*x^2 + f(x) assuming you were integrating asa function of y. Unless of course x and y were related, then you'd have make a substitution and play around with integration limits (assuming it was a definite integral).

 

Oh right, joke.

[Supergrunch]

All the functions go to a party, and there's lots of fun going on, but then ln(x) sees e^x standing all on his own in the kitchen. He goes up to him, and says "Come on mate, try to integrate yourself a bit more." e^x looks backs forlornly, and says "I keep trying, but it always ends up the same".

 

And one for Chris:

 

Number 6 is running fast down the street, and bumps into e^x, who says "What are you so flustered about?" Number 6 says "There's a differential operator after me, if he catches me I'll be nothing!" e^x says "Don't worry, I'll sort it." He goes up to the differential operator, and says "You can't do anything to me." The operator replies "Nice try, but I'm dx/dy."

 

More? No, thought not.

[Gentleben]

All the functions go to a party, and there's lots of fun going on, but then ln(x) sees e^x standing all on his own in the kitchen. He goes up to him, and says "Come on mate, try to integrate yourself a bit more." e^x looks backs forlornly, and says "I keep trying, but it always ends up the same".

 

And one for Chris:

 

Number 6 is running fast down the street, and bumps into e^x, who says "What are you so flustered about?" Number 6 says "There's a differential operator after me, if he catches me I'll be nothing!" e^x says "Don't worry, I'll sort it." He goes up to the differential operator, and says "You can't do anything to me." The operator replies "Nice try, but I'm dx/dy."

 

More? No, thought not.

 

 

I don't get it..............

[Ginger_Chris]

I like the second one.

 

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a police officer. The officer says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg says, "No, but I know where I am."

 

Q: Two cats are on a roof. Which slides off first?

A: The one with the smaller μ.

 

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

 

Anyway, enough will the silly physics jokes, there are young minds with (hopefully maths/physics) problems that need solving. :P

[Supergrunch]

Just this one:

 

Two atoms bump into one another. One says "Are you alright?" The other says "No, I lost an electron."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive."

 

It's old, but it always makes me rofl.

 

Okay, okay, no more.

 

Edit: I feel geeky for getting all of these... I thought for a second I didn't get the mu one, but then I remembered...

[Problematique]

Love the Heisenberg one

 

Best pick up line:

 

If I were sin squared you'd be cos squared because together we make one.

 

 

Worst science joke in the history of ever:

 

A biochemist walks into a bar. He sits down and says "can I have a pint of adenosine triphosphate please?" The bartender replies "Right-o, that'll be 80p".

 

Oh.

 

And why is a burger lower energy than a steak? Because it's in the ground state.

 

Thanks, I'll be here all week.

[Ellmeister]

why is 6 afraid of 7.. coz 7,8,9! ^_^

[Konfucius]

I like the second one.

 

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a police officer. The officer says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg says, "No, but I know where I am."

 

Q: Two cats are on a roof. Which slides off first?

A: The one with the smaller μ.

 

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

 

Anyway, enough will the silly physics jokes, there are young minds with (hopefully maths/physics) problems that need solving. :P

 

Haha love them. The Heisenberg one is brilliant

 

I also have a (pretty bad) one.

A mathematician sees three people enter a room. Four come out a few minutes later. He concludes: if one more person enters the room, it will be empty.

[Supergrunch]

Here's a good one to try on people:

 

"What is the integral of 1/(cabin) (with respect to cabin)?"

"Um, logcabin? Haha."

"No, it's a houseboat. You forgot the c."

[The fish]

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high.

"I'll tell you what," said the cynic. "Ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do."

He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called the waitress over.

"When my friend returns," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond 'one third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you." She agreed.

The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?"

The waitress looked pensive, almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, "Um, one third x cubed?"

So the cynic paid the check. The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered under her breath, "...plus a constant."

 

My maths teacher told me and my class that. It worked, at least for me: I've ever left c (that's the constant, maths-noobs...) out of an integration.

[Letty]

Can someone tell me simple definitions of these reactions?

 

Neutralisation

Polymerisation

Addition

Displacement (redox)

Precipitation

Fermentation

 

 

Please :(

[Cube]

Can someone tell me simple definitions of these reactions?

 

Neutralisation

Polymerisation

Addition

Displacement (redox)

Precipitation

Fermentation

 

 

Please :(

 

neutralization: a chemical reaction in which an acid and a base interact with the formation of a salt; with strong acids and bases the essential reaction is the combination of hydrogen ions with hydroxyl ions to form water

 

 

polymerization: a chemical process that combines several monomers to form a polymer or polymeric compound

 

addition: Some chemical of the form AB is added across a double bond. A and B are now attached to the two atoms that had been double-bonded.

 

displacement: a reaction in which an elementary substance displaces and sets free a constituent element from a compound

 

Precipitation: is the condensation of a solid from a solution during a chemical reaction. This occurs when the solution is supersaturated, whereupon the solid forms from the solute phase, and usually sinks to the bottom of the solution.

 

Fermentation: chemical changes in organic substrates caused by enzymes of living microorganisms.

[Supergrunch]

Can someone tell me simple definitions of these reactions?

 

Neutralisation

Polymerisation

Addition

Displacement (redox)

Precipitation

Fermentation

 

 

Please :(

Neutralisation = acid reacts with base to produce a salt and a water.

Polymerisation = many small monomers react to form a macromolecular polymer.

Addition = A functional group is added to a molecule, often across a double bond.

Displacement (redox) = One element is reduced while another is oxidised, so a species is "displaced".

Precipitation = Two aqueous ions react to form a solid which precipitates out of the solution.

Fermentation = Glucose is anaerobically respired, forming ethanol as a product.

 

More detail? Less detail?

 

Edit: Heh... Cube's answers are probably better, I was still writing when he posted.

[Letty]

Thanks

 

You guys are lifesavers.