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She gave her number but dumped me.


Elekko

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As I start introducing my situation I want to write that I have been enjoying reading interesting topics here, I'm not that active here.. I just enjoy reading, but this time I want to share my situation for you, because I know many here are around my age.

 

There is a girl in my school (I'm in high school), whom I found very cute and got curious to know her for a time. The problem was how I can speak to her, because of the lack of experience, in fact, I have never been in a relationship with anyone, I just get too nervous to take the first step.

 

Later, I got to know a friend and he knows this girl because he has some same class with her. One morning, I arrived at school and saw my friend, noting that he was talking to this girl. I said hello and started to talk with my friend and at the samtime the girl and I also said hello to each other and we chatted a bit. The days passed and we said "Hi" to each other friendly and had short conversations... I started feel more for her.. my heart beated faster everytime I saw her.

 

Then one day, the last day in our school before Christmas Holidays... I could not take it anymore by hiding my feelings for my self, because I've done that far too much before. I took all of my courage and talked to her when we all were going home. I asked if she wants to do somthing with me someday and it ended up to that she gave me her number. sweat.gif

 

You can't imagine how I felt, this was my first time I asked a girl. I felt that I was close to puke. But, I waited of course, christmas was close... I planned to call her after christmas so I wouldn't disturb her nor I would disturb my own peacefull celebration with my friends and family. So, I planned to make her a call after christmas.

 

Christmas eve went pass and the next day was the big day. I was up to do something I've never done, ask a girl out (in the meaning that I'm interested in her). In the evening I phoned her.. but she never answered and a cuple of hours later she sent me a message "Hello friend, don't have time for coffee, we'll hear at school". My first reaction was a total dump... I asked my friend and he said that "She does not want to meet you". I swallowed his words, they sounded so true. As a matter of fact, I later got sad, by meaning I got touched by this situation because it was my first time, and I lifted all my courage for the results nothing.

As it is a law of nature, a defensive reaction is very normal.. so I messed her back "You could have written it right away. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year", what I meant by this was of course that she could have written that she don't want to meet me instead of that she don't have time.

 

Then I started analyzing... maybe she took my reply badly and the next time we meet (when the school start in January 8) she maybe is too afraid of talking to me.. because the message was an "angry type".

Aaaand, maybe she IS busy.. in fact, I noted that she is a hard worker... and probably works some extra in the holidays and needs rest of her speartime for her family.

Haha, this is what I hate in life... you think too fast and you end up with a regret.

But, this is the way it is... I hope we could talk and that she is not angry back next time we see each other. At least, I would like to have a friendship.

 

You can have any view of my post. You can think that it's lame, but I really wanted to tell this. Being dumped in one's first try ever dosen't feel that good.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

 

UPDATE: IT'S CONFIRMED - SHE DID DUMP ME, TODAY SHE SAID NO - THE STORY IS OVER

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You seem to be analysing the situation way too much, seriously.

You're the same as me, rejection is something i've grown to deal with and i've only ever had 2 girls said they like me. You're probably aware of me and Letty so, as long as she isn't currently getting off with her friend at her house (he's incredibly good looking and i'm not, and i'm the jealous type :( plus i need constant reassurance because i'm a complete retard) then you know, all good.

 

But yeah, she might just be busy. But alot of girls just rather tell you taht rather than telling you what they really feel/think which is the thing that pisses me off.

 

And you should post more, you seem like a nice guy.

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You texted her on christmas day? Not everybody is available then you know. I wouldn't be for instance and neither would my family.

 

Best to try and just leave it for awhile, she said see you at school and thats what you should do.

And if she is afraid, talk to her anyway. Try and make her think she got the wrong idea about the message. After awhile back at school(a week, maybe 2) give her a call and ask her for coffee.

 

Then...do the buisness my son. I'm so proud of you...*sniff*...

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I know how you're feeling man, something very sort of similar happened to me when I was younger. You took a mighty big step though, seriously, some people wouldn't have bothered even asking her at that age(well, im not sure what age you are at all actually). Rejection is something everyone will have at some point in their life, best to learn to deal with it early on. Move on, find someone else, you get rejected again? Meh, dust yourself off and try again. Seriously, don't give up all hope, and don't make the mistake of dwelling on it forever. At least you know now, rather than spending your life wondering, having the regret.

 

I'm here assuming it's worst case scenario though, it might just be that she was busy, like mariosmentor said.

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I thought this was a Blink 182 record or something. It seems you predicted a bad response and preempted acted on it. It may be to late to salvage the situation but even if it is you wil have learnt a good lesson.

 

Im emoing about receiving an email or phone call from some sicko in America at the moment so I will cut my wrists with you :D

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I did read the whole post however I must admit I was a bit scetchy on what day this girl was called.

 

The basic point I'm trying to get across is that rejection is normal.

But at high school rejection isn't a definitive big red stamp on what could

amount to a releationship.

 

What I'm saying is leave it awhile. Maybe I was undercompensating when I said 2 weeks but what I'm ultimately trying to say is people change their minds. I mean in essence she doesn't know a thing about you right? So how can she base judgements so early. Judgements that can easily change by being a friendly fun loving person in her company which can't be too hard if I'm assuming you have some of the same friends.

Just try to avoid becoming completely obbsesed with her and act natural with her.

 

Major rule is...

Do not let her know about these emotions. Refrain from telling your friend because you don't know where loyalties lie. I had a similar situation where a friend's jealousy caused him to say things about me. May not be the same situation, I just had bad friends.

 

And well, you have my condolences man. I think its fair to say we all know how you feel without being cheesy.

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I've only ever had one girlfriend, but she pissed off back to England and i never saw her again *sniff* i think her name was Zoe but that was in 2002 or somthing, get rid of the lazy bitch and find someone else, there are plenty of mamels that would like to fuck you.

 

There's a hot-ish girl called Zoe in my Business Management class. She's got a twin, I almost got confused once, if you know what I mean. ;)

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Was playin' Twilight Princess and got great responses! Thank you all!

I really don't know what will happend but... I learned a lesson after my reply to her, it makes me feel that she thinks I'm a stupid player who only want her... and yes.. it was like a bad day to make a call... but the past cannot be changed.

 

But hey, should I apologize her when I see her again? I think I would feel better... but I want to ask you. The rejection is something that I actually cannot accept right now.. due to the lack of facts.

 

Mariosmentor, no she don't know me at all... we only know that she works and I practice martial arts.

 

Ah and tomorrow I'll meet my close friend, we can have a chat about this.

 

You guys are the best, thank you very much.

 

*Edit - I'm 18 years old, for the person who asked

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heh.. your´re over analysing the situation.

 

You could always do it in the norwegian way - the standard way relationships begins in Norway, is at partys. Just get on a party with her. Get yourself loaded up - and make sure she´s just as drunk as you - and go for it!

 

That´s how I got mine.. and we have lived together for three years now.. gaah..

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The fact remains that most people on this forum are either whiny pre pubescent outcasts, or middle aged men who've given up on their social lives. Except that's not true, there are a wierd amount of normal people here (for a Nintendo forum especially), I think there's always been some good advice.

 

Here's some from a particularly jaded, sociopathic direction: Fuck it, girls/ people in general tend to be particularly inconsiderate about others' feelings, you don't seem to know her that well, and she could very well turn out to be a total douche. Hunt around a bit more, you seem like a reasonably social person, go out with girls as friends more, enjoy their company, and then think about making a move.

 

And most importantly; Drink up!

 

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