Dcubed

The decision itself would make sense if it were relating to the console market, where there is actually a legitimate risk of foreclosure. But they’ve already dismissed Sony’s claims regarding the console market, they’ve already accepted the merger on those grounds. The part of this decision that makes no sense is the focus on the Cloud Gaming market. A market segment that barely even exists, let alone has any true relevancy to the British public, and a market segment that ABK has actively refused to even participate in in the first place! How can you state that the decision protects the availability of ABK’s games when their games aren’t even available to this market segment anyway!? This decision is actually preventing ABK’s games from being made available to the Cloud Gaming segment! It’s actually taking away choice within the UK market! Never mind the hundreds of millions of other devices and consumers that the merger would actually be bringing ABK’s games to within the console space. If the CMA had blocked the merger on grounds of foreclosure within the console space, then at least the decision would make some sense. But here? No, it’s totally nonsensical and utterly baffling. If they’re really doing this to set an example to Big Tech, they’re going about it in a totally dishonest and disingenuous manner. Block the merger on grounds of foreclosure in the console space against Sony if you want to set an example, don’t throw baseless flimsy bullshit arguments around regarding the irrelevant Cloud Gaming sector. This is an entirely politically driven decision where the only real beneficiaries of this decision are the CMA themselves (international political clout) and Sony.

WTF!? This is an outrageous decision! Cloud gaming is the sticking point? A near non-existent market that ABK isn’t even contributing towards anyway? Never mind the >100 million Switch owners who stand to benefit from the deal. This decision literally takes away choice in the Cloud Gaming market because those games aren’t available anyway! And they decide this after rejecting Sony’s concerns about foreclosure in the console market? I can’t even, the logic on display is just so ridiculous! I can’t see this standing, there’s no way that this decision won’t be fought and eventually overturned. It’s just insane at this juncture to pin everything on a market that effectively doesn’t even exist!

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! I just got to Enigma (Mission 23) and STURM'S THEME IS FUCKING AMAZING!!! They did the big bad justice!!!

Just learnt something that shocked me... Jake Kaufman did not work on the AW1+2 soundtrack! Honestly! I totally thought it was him! It really does sound like his style! But no! The soundtrack was actually done by Tommy Pendrini (Bravoman, Vitamin Connection, OK KO), Michaela Nachtigall (Steven Universe, Vitamin Connection, Cadence of Hyrule) and Maddie Lim (Shantae & The Seven Sirens intro song, OK KO, Vitamin Connection... I sense a connection here...). They did a great job here! Both the rearranged soundtrack and the new songs added in for the remake all sound superb! (and the sound design is sensationally good too)

BTW, another awesome little touch I've noticed. So I checked the option to say that I've already played AW before, and I purposely screwed around in the last training mission to fail on purpose; in order to see if you still get special dialogue... Turns out that Nell actually acknowledges your failure and passes you anyway! (Not sure if she'd let you pass if you select that you haven't played AW before mind you). But it's not just that... Hachi makes fun of you for screwing up the training mission too!

BTW, this game makes fantastic use of HD Rumble! It’s used everywhere to great effect, even the 2D animated cutscenes make fabulous use of it! Wasn’t expecting Advance Wars of all games to be a showcase for the Switch’s HD Rumble feature!

The infantry still inexplicably explode when you kill them! I am a happy man

Yup. Was originally released as an arcade game in 1984. Its actually gotten quite a few re-releases across SEGA’s 8 & 16 bit consoles (with the MD port basically being Arcade perfect), and its gotten quite a few references and such over the years with its gameplay mechanics resurfacing in various SEGA titles. Most notably Sonic 3D Blast (which is basically a sequel to Flicky in disguise) and as a stage in Gunstar Future Heroes on the GBA… This one, the fun one. Really hope we get Gunstar Future Heroes on the GBA NSO at some point. One of the best action platformers on the console!

Yeah, Flicky is legit. Great little golden-age arcade title that never gets its dues but definitely deserves to be in the conversation alongside the likes of Donkey Kong and Pacman.

It's crazy that so many genwunners are outright enraged by this revelation that they've taken to hurling threats at Bulbapedia for replacing the art on their website with the new scans! To the point where they've had to put out disclaimers stating that they're still gonna allow people to view the old broken scans on their site...

How DARE Nintendo lie to us! You promised this to be a September release, you traitors! How COULD you!?

That was... pretty underwhelming. Even by Indie World standards. Just about the only game I was truly interested in is Rift of the Necrodancer, and we got exactly zero new footage or details from that presentation

It’s more Mega Man than anything else really; with a dash of Rocket Knight Adventures (Particularly with Pulseman’s signature Volt Tackle move). Not all that much like Sonic really.

Oh snap! Pulseman is a HUGE get!! First time it has been re-released since the Wii VC! One of the best action platformers on the console, well worth playing!

So I finally got round to seeing the movie myself... ... ... ... it's actually pretty good! Now it's not some epic piece of landmark cinema, no it's not the next Citizen Kane or anything stupid like that. But it's a fun movie that mostly does right by the series and its cast of characters. It generally feels pretty faithful to the current day Super Mario brand, with more than enough nods to the series past. The biggest surprise for me though was that I actually didn't end up hating Chris Pratt as Mario! I hated how he sounded in the trailers, but in the actual movie? He's not bad at all. I did end up warming up to his performance in the end, and even though I would've much preferred to see Charles Martinet in the starring role, Pratt did a decent job of portraying Mario in the end and it felt like he put some decent effort into the role that wasn't really evident in the trailers originally. Speaking of which, I'm glad that Martinet didn't end up just getting sidelined into a cheap cameo role and that's it (I mean, he did get that, but thankfully that was in addition to getting a decent supporting role that allowed him to exercise a bit of range as a voice actor; which was really nice to see). Speaking of which... Of course, the best role in the movie was Bowser. Jack Black basically plays himself and it's perfect. I mean... But of course, we all knew that going in. Jack Black was always going to steal the show, that was inevitable. Generally I'd say that most of the casting was solid, but I'd say that Seth Rogan as DK was kinda flat. I mean... he wasn't DK, he was just Seth Rogan. You can tell that his heart wasn't really in the role and it's a bit of a shame. Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong though? WTF happened there!? The voice performance was flat out wrong, he didn't even sound old! The characterisation also didn't really feel much like Cranky at all, was quite disappointed there. The rest of the cast was pretty great though. Anya Taylor-Joy did a good job as Peach, with plenty of Girl Power on display (let's be honest, she was the real hero in this movie. Mario ended up basically being totally useless for like 90% of the movie's running time ), Charlie Day as Luigi was spot on as well (though sadly Luigi doesn't end up getting all that much screen time in the end), and Keegan-Michael Key wasn't bad as Toad either (if perhaps a bit overwraught in places). Sebastian Maniscalco did a great Foreman Spike as well; made me really hope that Nintendo end up bringing Spike back in a future Mario game! He's a great bully figure, would be great to see the Mario Movie end up bringing this character back! The amount of little easter eggs and references sprinkled throughout the movie was also crazy. Absolutely tons of blink-and-you'll-miss-'em nods and references hidden throughout, including non-Mario titles too, mostly of the NES era (but oddly enough, Star Fox got a nod as what I think was the only non-NES era title? Miyamoto's bias continues to shine through for that series ). Plenty of fun to find that encourages repeat viewings. The movie was also paced well, I didn't feel like things progressed too fast; which is pretty uncommon for a modern non-Pixar animated movie! Nor did things feel like they dragged at any point. Story is fairly threadbare as you'd expect, but there's enough character development to keep you going and keep things fun. Speaking of which... If I have to make any complaints? It's mostly down to the soundtrack. Not that anything is really bad or anything, but I did question the need for any of the licensed music at all when you've got a vast library of Mario music to draw from... And it's not like they did a bad job in that regard either! There's plenty of representation from across the whole series, but it did leave me scratching my head as to why any licensed music was used at all; as it just felt a bit out of place. And yes, I was upset to see that Grant Kirkhope got no credit for the use of the DK Rap; that's very not cool, especially when it was literally a straight rip from the N64 game, not even a new arrangement! At least Iwata got a nod in the credits I suppose. But overall? I really don't have much to complain about. It's a solid and fun movie that actually does capture the spirit of the Mario series quite nicely, and it's absolutely not a cash-in; you can tell that it was made with real love and reverence for the Mario series and Nintendo as a whole. It certainly put me in the mood to play some Mario games, that's for sure! (And bring Foreman Spike back already Nintendo! He deserves it after the movie! Come on!)

That’s a fantastic idea for anti-piracy protection! Legit cool! … though I suppose if you were a super, ultra Trekkie nerd, you’d probably know enough Klingon off by heart that you could probably bypass the need for the manual altogether, so… maybe not as effective as it is neat. Man, there are a LOT of Klingon-based Star Trek games aren’t there? Still, it beats seeing the Borg get recycled endlessly I suppose.

I haven’t watched any of Picard season 3, because it’s a terrible, wretched and awful show. But after having the final episode shoved down my throat by a certain someone? I just have to say that the final episode is the most utterly pathetic nostalgia pandering I’ve ever seen. The entire series’ story turned out to be one big fat excuse for a stupid, incredibly contrived Memberberry and it’s utterly, woefully pathetic. And not only that, but it also ends up retroactively ruining not one, but TWO classic Trek movies (Generations and Nemesis) in the process! That’s impressive! And the fact that tons of fans online are arfing like seals in response is just utterly sad. I hate it. I hate everything about it. Fuck Nu Trek and everything it stands for.

So I had a thought (I know, very dangerous thing to do), and I was thinking about some games I love certain parts of, but ultimately they just don’t come together to make a truly great game. This could be a game that you generally really enjoyed, but is let down by one critical flaw that ruins it for you. Or a game which you don’t generally like as a whole, but really like certain parts of, or games that are almost really fantastic? But ultimately just don’t quite hit the mark for various reasons… … and I’m gonna kick this thread off with one of the first examples that springs to mind for me… What’s up motherfucker!! I utterly adore the dialogue, characters and story in HOTD Overkill. It’s a brilliant Grindhouse Comedy Horror that leaves me in stitches any time I watch its cutscenes. But if you strip all of its presentation away and look at the gameplay alone as a HOTD game? Ehh… Ultimately, once you look past the brilliant grindhouse presentation, it’s just not a very good HOTD game. The pacing is completely off, it’s ridiculously slow, the enemies and set pieces just aren’t very interesting and are sparsely laid out across each level (which all just drag on and on), and the boss battles are utterly uninteresting from a mechanical standpoint. Unlike all of the other HOTD games (which were all built for the arcades), this was designed from the ground up as a console game, and unfortunately it really shows in the final product; as it’s painfully obvious that the developers felt the inevitable need to drag out the game’s running time with tons of bloat in order to justify the full priced retail purchase. What should be a snappy 30-45 minute roller coaster ride ends up being a 4-6 hour long slog. And it’s a goddamned motherfucking shame, because I bloody LOVE the dialogue and characterisation in this game. If you’ve never played it? I would still recommend playing it the once, or at least watching someone else play it, because it’s actually one of the most well written comedies that the video game industry has ever seen. I’d totally watch the crap out of it if it were remade into a movie! But sadly, I can’t bring myself to ever play it again; the gameplay just isn’t good enough, and it has no replay value inherent to the gameplay. So what other examples spring to mind for you? Post ‘em here! I might even agree with some of them if I’m feeling generous

Square has wanted to desperately become an action game developer for more or less two decades now. Ever since RE4 and the original Monster Hunter came out in particular though, they’ve been desperate to shake off their label of being a developer of turn-based RPGs; and they’ve been enormously envious of Capcom in particular and how well they initially handled the transition to HD development. Final Fantasy’s transition from traditional turn-based RPG to full-on Devil May Cry clone has been slowly creeping onward ever since FF13 released back in 2009 (and arguably even since FF11, FF10-2 and FF12). Never mind the KH series too. This is just the final form that the Square side of Square-Enix have been wanting to achieve since the early 2000s, even before they merged with Enix! Speaking of which, the Enix side of S-E has ironically been the one that has kept Square’s roots as an RPG developer alive. Team Asano in particular (who come from the Enix side) have really kept that flame alive in spectacular fashion. But yeah, Square have wanted to become Capcom ever since the early 2000s, and now their wish has finally come true. For better or worse. We’ll have to see if the Square side end up influencing Yuji Hori enough to convince him to abandon the current Dragon Quest audience as well though… as I and many of us are suspecting will happen (we all remember what nearly did happen with DQ9…).

Would be pretty ironic for Illumination to make a Rabbids movie when they ripped them off with the Minions in the first place.

Righto! Time for an update! Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Released at the very tail end of 2017, I honestly thought for sure that it'd end up getting delayed into 2018. Surely there's no way that Monolith Soft could possibly crank out a full sequel to Xenoblade Chronicles on Wii and Xenoblade X on Wii U (See! I didn't forget about it!) in just a hair over 2 years!? Well it turns out that they kind of didn't... This game was buggy as fuck when it first released in 2017. Tons of crash bugs and memory leak issues reared their ugly head. While Monolith Soft managed to rush the game out just in time for Xmas, it came at a price. And with a mountain of DLC & bug fixes on the way? It was then that I decided to skip playing it and to just wait for them to eventually finish the game and get it into a decent state down the line. It's now 2023 and the game has received many, many updates, additional DLC content and fixes. Surely it's now a much better game than it was back in 2017 right? Well, yes and no. Throughout my time playing the game, I had precisely one hard crash while playing and lost roughly 2 hours of progress because of this. Now that's much better than the constant crashes that plagued the game upon release, but unfortunately that's just the tip of the iceburg when it comes to the game's technical and design problems. Ultimately, I feel that Monolith Soft simply bit off more than they could chew with this game. Let's not sugar coat things. This game is a bit of a technical disaster on Switch. It runs very poorly and has fucking AWFUL image quality. In handheld mode? It legitimately might well be one of the ugliest games I've ever played, it literally can look worse than some PS1 games; and that is NOT an exaggeration! Here's a couple of screenshots I took while playing in handheld mode that represents just how bad it can get... MY EYES!!! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!!! Honestly? I would not consider handheld mode to really be playable. It's such a soupy mess that I literally can't tell what's going on during a fight. It's hard enough to tell what's going on while playing on the TV, but when you're dealing with a HD game that is being squashed down to just barely above 3DS resolution? Yeah, it's basically unplayable. Oh, and the framerate is donkey shit too to boot! I'm not one to really rag on about technical performance this much usually, but this really is just unacceptable; especially as an important first party production. And to think that this is after all of the billion and one updates that the game has had!? Fuck me! How bad was it back in 2017!? Monolith Soft simply had all the wrong priorities when making this game, it really does seem like they developed the game primarily for more powerful hardware than the Switch and then tried to squash it down to make it work. Sure, it technically runs on the machine, but when it's basically unplayable in handheld mode, you've kind of defeated the point of even making a Switch exclusive in the first place. So how's the game itself? Well... it's very much a mixed bag... but ultimately it's a gigantic step down from the original Wii game in every single way. Let's start with the good. The battle system is actually quite fun... eventually. Building on the combat system from the first Xenoblade, it's focused around a new elemental combo system whereby chain attacks can be generated by continuing down a predetermined chain of elements. Use the right attacks in the right order and you can unleash powerful combo moves; a bit like Chrono Cross actually. You also have the same set of Break/Topple combo attacks as in Xenoblade 1, now augmented with the new Launch command (which comes with a hilarious animation of your launched foe spinning around like crazy that always makes me laugh). Unfortunately, it takes a really long time for the game to actually allow you to really take advantage of the combo system as it simply doesn't give you the tools you need to unleash the combos on offer until a good way into the game. Speaking of which... another problem lies in just how much of an utter slog the first half of the game ends up being because everything is a massive damage sponge. Until you finally get the ability to cancel arts into arts (which happens about 20 hours in or so), everything takes a fucking eternity to kill, and levelling up takes bloody forever. A further problem is that the battle system ultimately ends up being a very restrictive one trick pony by the end. Once you gain that ability to cancel arts into arts, there's very little further development with the battle system (save for one cool thing that is a spoiler), and every battle basically devolves into a race to activate your elemental chain attack over and over again. It's all very one note and rote by the end, with little room for real experimentation or player expression, and it does become quite dull. The level design is also a big step down from the original Xenoblade, though to be fair, that's a real fucking high bar to achieve; so I can't complain too much about this. It's still a big step up over most other 3D RPGs (especially HD ones), but the landmarking and setpieces fall way short of the Wii game, as environments become disorientating and confusing to navigate without a guide. Now here is where I talk about a system that sounds great on paper, but falls well short of its potential in practice... the Field Skills. Oh how this broke me... I love Golden Sun. One of the very best things about Golden Sun was how your psynergy skills could be used not just in battles, but also in the overworld to solve puzzles, remove obstacles and traverse the world around you. So when I heard about the idea of Field Skills in Xenoblade 2? I was really excited! Using your characters' unique skills to get around the world and destroy obstacles!? That sounds like Golden Sun!!! Oh boy!!! And then it ended up being tied to the absolute worst thing in the world... The Gacha Machine... 0.1% chance baby! This mechanic has no place in a full-priced retail game. There is no reasonable justification for its inclusion. It absolutely ruins all exploration in this game because progression is tied to your ability to get lucky enough with the gacha to pull the right Blade that has the field skill that you need to progress. And unfortunately? These field skills are mandatory to progress. It's absolute shite, I hate it. I hate everything about this system. It makes me honestly question if Xenoblade 2 was originally planned to be a F2P mobile game before it was moved to Switch after it ended up being a surprise success; it would honestly explain a lot about the design choices behind this game if that were the case. You know what makes things even better? The paid DLC comes along with free spins of the gacha, it's literally taken straight out of the evil F2P mobile handbook. And at that point? I gave up. I literally asked @Glen-i to grind for me, because I couldn't take any more of this game's stupid shit. Speaking of stupid shit, the amount of utterly superfluous mechanics in this game is just mindboggling. There is so much utterly unneccessary shit in this game that serves no purpose but to waste your fucking time that it's absurd. All the crafting crap, per-character AND BLADE skill trees (oh, and you have to manually trigger them in the menu; can't be having them passively activate now!), Meowster Hunter ripoffs, useless sidequests that don't passively complete as you play the game (nah, that was just too good an idea in Xenoblade 1 to carry on with), every single fucking thing involving Poppi (including a minigame that should be fun, but is turned into a PTSD nightmare through sheer grindy repetition). It's all busywork timewasting crap and bloat that doesn't serve the main gameplay whatsoever. ALL of this should've been exorcised from the game, it would've been far better off without it. Oh, and just to make my life even more miserable? The map is completely and utterly useless, with completely misleading topography, icons that don't represent anything, landmarks not visible, a Fast Travel system where everything is nested in endless menus (making your desired location a nightmare to find), elevation not being accurately or clearly defined... How on Alrest they managed to fuck up the map when they had it perfect with Xenoblade 1 is absoutely beyond me! When you have such large scale maps as well? The poor quality mapping system makes the world an utter chore to navigate! Thank you so much @Glen-i for helping me get past all of this crap. Without you being there to grind this stupid crap for me and helping me to figure out where I was supposed to go? I honestly would've just dropped this game and watched a story recap on Youtube. Oh... there's a story? Could've fooled me... Cue the porno music! This is Saturday Morning Xenoblade. The entire game is basically like a series of cartoon episodes strung together, with none of the gravitas, philosophical exploration of morality or interesting character development that defined the original Xenoblade. I'd even go so far as to say that it's outright insulting that this is the (kind of... spoilers though!) follow up to that game. The story starts off stupid and goes downhill from there; and there is almost zero noteworthy character development, as each character gets reduced to a series of recycled anime tropes (Including Rex himself, who is a complete wet tissue of a character). It's a mess of hodgepodge concepts, cartoon villains and anime tropes that belong moreso in a Tales of game than a Xeno title. And fuck me is this game horny! I'm sure you're all aware of the online discourse surrounding this game, but it really is just as bad as its made out to be. This is a game designed by dirty old men, for dirty old men. It made me feel outright uncomfortable playing this game, and I love Bayonetta for Jubileus' sake! Save for one single thing (spoilers for that below), the story, storytelling and character development is utter wank (pun most certainly intended)... Xenoblade 2 is a mess. Its story is a mess, the game design is a mess, and its technical performance & game engine is a mess. That's what happens when you try and rush out a large scale HD RPG for a brand new console in just 2 years though. But it really is shocking just how little confidence the game's own designers had in their own game. The fact that they added difficulty sliders for every single facet of the gameplay in a DLC update really is the most damning condemnation of all though; because it shows that they gave up on trying to craft an ideal experience for the player, in favour of asking the player to design the game for them. It's such a shame to see, because for all of my misgivings with this game, it actually is a real miracle of a production. It's a full-scale HD sequel to one of the most ambitious and critically lauded RPGs ever made, and it was done at a breakneck pace in just two years; while Monolith Soft were also helping Nintendo EAD to make Breath of the Wild. I admire the ambition on display, and the result is still better than almost every other HD RPG out there not published by Nintendo. But when even the game's own director acknowledges that Xenoblade 2 falls well short of the original game? You know that it can't be anything other than a massive disappointment... Still, Xenoblade 2 does have a lovely soundtrack, and it did give us this utterly wonderful little gem; so it's not all bad. Let's hope that Xenoblade 3 finally does justice to the original Xenoblade when I eventually get round to it. Goldeneye 007 The seminal FPS game on consoles... actually no it isn't, but it may as well be. After almost 26 years, the impossible finally happened and the impossible license to release once again became the license to kill on both Xbox and Nintendo Switch! I played it again via the NSO service and what a treat it was! The impossible finally happened... The NSO border is finally gone!! Goldeneye 007 receives some real tangible benefits from its Switch re-release. The game is now rendered in full 720p (including full support for the game's original widescreen mode, newly added to the NSO emulator!), greatly improving the image quality and visibility of in-game objects & enemies over its original 240p N64 release, while the framerate sees a massive bump up from its original unstable 10-20FPS to a now solid 30FPS. Coupled with an official N64 NSO controller? This means the Goldeneye now plays better than ever before, and the bump in performance really makes a difference in how nice it feels to play. And it runs just as well in portable mode as on the telly. What a welcome change from Xenoblade 2 eh? Anyway, I won't dwell on the game itself too much because you all know this game inside and out by now anyway. But suffice it to say? I love this game. Not as much as Perfect Dark mind you, which improved on its predecessor in basically every single way (framerate aside! Man, I can't wait for that game to come to Switch!), but Goldeneye 007 is every bit as good today as it was 26 odd years ago. The mission-based game structure is still utterly enthralling and sorely missing from modern brainless FPS games, the soundtrack is timeless (and makes the best use of a single repeated song ever!) and the gunplay is utterly superb. There's a reason why it spawned one of the longest running speedrun communities of all time, and it's because it's a cracker of a game; impeccably designed from top to bottom (ok... maybe the landmarking in the Statue level could've been better) and rightfully one of the most influential and important games ever made. The Murder of Sonic The Hedgehog See Glen-i's writeup here. I played it together with him and I have nothing else to add that he hasn't already said. It's a surprisingly solid little gem of a game! Professor Layton And The Azran Legacy Keep an eye on that puzzle count... it's gonna be important for later... So I have a confession to make. I have played through every single mainline Professor Layton game... except for the last one. After playing 5 very similar Layton games back to back, I had just simply had enough. I couldn't take another puzzle. Much like with the original Mega Man series, the series had become pretty stale at this point. Sure, the quality of the puzzles was still there, and the production values and stories were still fun, but there's only so much Layton a guy can take before they just need a break. So I took that break. And the break carried on... and on... and on... It took almost 10 years, but following the announcement of Professor Layton and the New World of Steam? I finally felt ready to conclude the professor's story. God I wish I hadn't... Still one of the best comics they ever did So things start out just fine. I settle back into the saddle and I'm enjoying seeing our wonderful Perfect Gentleman and his dodgy companions back in action again. The game starts out with impressive production values (God I forgot just how utterly gorgeous the visuals of the 3DS Layton games were!), a wonderfully baroque musical score and some perfectly fine puzzles. There's even a rather clever one involving a birthday present sent inside of an ice cube (yeah, that's pretty typical for Professor Layton And His Garbage World) that I really enjoyed solving. The story starts out innocuous enough, with the discovery of an archeological site housing a frozen girl and some sombre tones. We have the makings of a trademark Layton mystery! ... except that it turns out that there is no mystery. She really is a girl who was magically cryogenically frozen in ice, who has amnesia and magical powers involving Azran artefacts. Ok. So some nasty dudes called Targent are after her because they want her magic powers for themselves, and naturally you run away with her because... you want her magic powers for yourself... fair. From here though, the story kind of... stops? You're tasked to run around the world and collect a bunch of plot souvenirs in order to unlock THE AZRAN LEGACY: THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN 2! And from this point onwards, the game turns into a level select where you go to different areas and run through little mini stories that may or may not involve a mystery? (Spoilers... Save for one of these little vignettes, there is no real mystery. Sense a running theme yet?). Structurally, this is actually quite a welcome change of pace, and I appreciate the change in approach. After all, I previously lavished praise on Octopath Traveller for this very same thing! Unfortunately, the execution ends up being woefully lacking, because this is a series that is designed around presenting lavish and ridiculously convoluted mysteries; it's literally half of the series' appeal! (Even the original game's boxart agrees with me!). Your reward for collecting these plot souvenirs? Well... It is deeply unsatisfying as a "conclusion" to Top Hat's story, and it lacks half of the entire appeal of the series. So what about the other half then? Oh boy... Remember how I said that the game got off to a good start with its puzzles? Take another look at the game's boxart above (go ahead, I'll wait). Does its focus on quantity bother you? If it doesn't now? It will in a few minutes... As I'm playing through the game, a sense of deja vu starts to kick in... Wait a minute... haven't I already done this puzzle before? Hmm... Ok, this is the 3rd time I've done this bloody clown puzzle, I'm getting pretty sick of... wait, WHAT!? THERE'S A FOURTH VERSION!? Oh my God... ANOTHER FUCKING SLIDING BLOCK PUZZLE!? This... this is just Pentominoes! It's just another thinly veiled varient of fucking Pentominoes! No... this can't be right... THE SAME FUCKING ARRANGEMENT PUZZLE AGAIN?! Am I... am I going insane!? SURELY previous Layton games didn't feature THIS many recycled puzzles!? So I dug in. I did the math. As soon as I finished the game, I cross-checked the Professor Layton wiki for all 6 mainline titles to figure out how many puzzles were rearranged/recycled/duplicated across all 6 mainline games. And the results will SHOCK you... HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I knew I wasn't crazy! Literally 48.7% of ALL puzzles in this game are duplicates!! That is outrageous! I couldn't believe it! Azran Legacy alone has almost as many duplicate puzzles as the rest of the entire mainline series combined! No fucking wonder the series was put on ice after this game!! The puzzle designers at Level 5 were clearly spent. And this game even happened to enjoy the longest development cycle of any Layton game with 2 years of development under its belt! (Ok, granted, Level 5 were also making Professor Layton vs Ace Attorney at the same time... and also Layton Brothers for mobile phones... and also the international versions of both Last Spectre and Mask of Miracles... ok, maybe Level 5 had stretched themselves thin a bit after all...). But ultimately, a Layton game where the puzzles are complete shite doesn't really hold much appeal anymore... When the entire point of the game is to present high quality brainteaser puzzles and you can't deliver on that? There really isn't much point. This is the worst game in the mainline series by a country mile. A massive disappointment that emphasises quantity over quality. I can only hope that the 10 year hiatus and the injection of new blood in the form of Quizknock can result in Professor Layton and the New World of Steam being a far better game. The Professor deserves better. A game so ice cold that it put the series on ice And with that?

Argh! There's even more from the little cocktease here! Yarr!

Tales from my arse? I'd guess about 50%. Given how much Nintendo has invested into Illumination and how they've let Chris Meledandri onto their board of directors? I'd imagine that Nintendo probably contributed 50% of the movie's overall budget; so they reap 50% of the profits.

I found @S.C.G's worst nightmare... Original name, do not steal

Well I mean, the Switch Menu icon IS quality now. You're making a good purchase here.