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The Bard

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Posts posted by The Bard

  1. Well they own Relic and Creative Assembly, the two best strategy game developers in the world to my mind, so this is probably a propitious direction for them to take. Also Sonic is and has almost always been hot street trash, so it's about time they jettisoned it, as much as it may hurt, like a dog howling during the outbound path of the plate of splintered bones it gobbled down two decades ago.

  2. It's great; every site should just drop review scores. Review scores are the reserve of fanboys and hate mongers. Good riddance!


    Wooooah, never expected to hear this from you man, especially recalling an epic spat we had over metacritic about 6 years ago. Couldn't agree more, games are nuanced cultural products, hence the text and lengthy discussion in the bulk of the review. You can't meaningfully reduce the experience of playing one down to a number, and have it serve as anything more than fodder for aspy spectrum bound goons to use as a way to meaninglessly heirarchise quality.


    They're not the first to do this, although I think they might be the biggest outlet to have done. Hoping that EDGE and Games TM follow.

  3. I bought this on PC yesterday, stuck the frame limiter on Rivatuner to 40 fps, and I haven't been having many problems. Around almost every corner of this game's world is something that makes me drop the controller and shit myself. Assassin's Creed stopped being a "game" in the strictest sense quite a long time ago. For me it's mostly just a cool way to walk around a really amazing world. I don't think I've ever seen anything this gorgeous in game form. I wouldn't recommend getting it if you don't have the hardware to circumvent its optimisation problems though. I've got a 2500k overclocked to 4.5ghz and an R9 290, and there is still a frequent drop to below 30 frames. I think it's kind of worth it for the stuff I'm seeing. They've just discovered that the performance issues are due to an overloaded cpu instruction pipeline, which they're going to fix in the next patch. Hopefully it'll be possibly to play it without constantly being taken out of it by frame haemorrhaging that makes you feel like someone GHB'd the shit out of your coffee during your morning stroll past the Bastille.


    It's a shame, this game is a casualty of rigid deadlines in service of maximising profits rather than investing in any level of goodwill with consumers, and you can see the effects; it's being heavily discounted everywhere you look because people won't touch it with shitty stick. A few more months and it could have been a high watermark in this generation, but Ubisoft done fucked up.

  4. I'll try the plank, looks like it'll be good for building up stamina since it's not really weight they can't take but more that they just tend to crap out into the fourth set. Dips pretty much work seem to work in the same way as triangles except you're bearing less weight so that probs won't be too helpful. Might just start doing kickbacks with random household objects. I've got a couple bricked xboxes sitting around somewhere :heh:

  5. What exercises do people do for triceps at home without weights, and at what kind of rep/set ratio? I've been doing triangle pushups at home but I've sort of plateaued at 24, thinking of putting some plates in a backpack and doing it that way. What say ye?


    Anyway, I've been back at the gym for the last month and a half doing a lean gain and trimming fat and just about got myself to being able to dumbell press 2x34s for 10 reps as my max (can do quite a bit heavier on a barbell but don't want to risk it because I don't have a spotter because I don't have any friends) but I'm being held back like a bastard by my triceps which seem to have atrophied more than any other muscle group over my year and a half absence from the gym.

  6. You used a family guy gif which suggests that you might just be the worst person ever.


    I'm outta here


    Ps. I don't care about Evo, I was merely adducing the correlation between games that feature at Evo and their potential skill ceiling. It was some sophisticated ish, and you didn't get it.

  7. For me it beats Smash on one incredibly simple point - it's much easier for newcomers to pick up. Everyone I've introduced it to has got all its mechanics within a couple minutes (and usually it's less, within a few rounds).


    The simplicity is great but it's also the source of the skill ceiling. How good you get at the game depends largely on how quick you can learn to respond or how well you can anticipate attacks and use the sometimes confusing pathways at the edge of maps to your advantage to psych out your opponents. It's good, but it's also limited - which is fine, it's a game you can introduce anyone to and assume they're going to be competent if they have any history with platformers or 2D Action Adventures, but it's not going to be featuring at Evo.


    I'd argue that Smash can also be played at varying levels of seriousness. The base game is just as easy to learn as Towerfall, and far far more forgiving.

  8. The GP told me I have a potassium deficiency on account of being strictly carnivorous. I've been eating three giant bowls of vegetables for the last two days and I'm experiencing a level of energy that is MDMA levels of extreme. You could rip my heart out and I'd still run a mile.

  9. I quite like the idea of speed runs, but I'm really not a fan of glich/tool-assisted speedruns.


    What do you describe as a glitch? For example. Metroid Prime speed runs depend on manipulating the lock-on/ side dash function to get the double jump boots almost the second you land on Talon, which breaks the sequence of power ups, but it's still just using the tools the game gives you.

  10. Mate it's because constructing a proper argument where the premises, propositions and conclusions are watertight seems like untying a gordian knot to you. Maybe it's because you can't seem to be able to keep another person's argument (one repeated multiple times over the course of about six comments) in your head long enough to think of a cogent response. You can't even distinguish between what two different people are saying.


    Also wasn't it you that said my comment was "absolute crap"? Responding in kind doesn't make me an absolute wanker, bro, it makes you incapable of taking as good as you give.


    Also this:


    I'm not saying you have to care about lubricating wheels moneyhats.


    Don't call me bro because to be perfectly honest your acting like an absolute wanker.


    First sentence is just a fucking mess, looks like it's missing a preposition, as well as the object of the sentence it's directly quoting. I'm going to go ahead and diagnose trauma to the Broca and Wernicke's areas. There's also the classic inability to distinguish between your and you're, alas poor Yorick, did you not attend English classes in the days of yore?


    F-. Don't see me after class, you're ineducable.

  11. Have to say this comment in particular is absolute crap....let's not forget how Sony arrived in the industry after all....


    Nothing you ever say makes a fucking lick of sense. What does "how Sony arrived" have to do with anything? Who's discussing Sony's industry entrance? What bearing does that have on the present? And why does one entity's malfeasance excuse another's? Your comment is based on the poorly thought out idea that if you're criticising one company, you much be riding the jock of the other, when actually, I'm just taking the two on their respective merits at the moment.


    You're consistently talking shit about the consumer being "entitled," but what you fail to understand is that Ubisoft aren't entitled to my cash. I choose to give them money on occasion for the product I want. If that product doesn't transpire, I'm perfectly at liberty to say what I don't like about it and to (*shock*) not buy the product.


    What the fuck do I care about XBone being the "lead" platform? What does that even mean other than that Microsoft gave them a wad of cash to pare back the competing platform's version? And why the fuck should I care if it makes business sense? I'm not here to lubricate the fucking wheels of some moneyhat corporation bro, I'm here to play games I want to play. If the Xbox One version runs at 900p, that's more than evidence enough that the PS4 version can do better.