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The Bard

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Everything posted by The Bard

  1. Eurogamer Drops Review Scores

    This is a good conversation. One thing to remember; the bonuses tied to Metacritic scores are usually never for the development team, many of whom are laid off at the end of the cycle anyway. Instead it's usually for the PR representatives that serve as liason between the publisher and the press. Now why would PR reps be getting bonuses for the Metacritic score? Unless it was the publisher's assumption that they had a direct ability to (contrary to what you believe Zechs) nefariously influence the score through, say, publisher events where press are invited out to five star resorts, catered to with all the Doritos and Mountain Dew they can quaff, paraded in front of literal dog and pony shows, and all the rest of it? That's what's being objected to; the idea that metacritic and its primacy fosters the backward idea among publishers that they can influence score irrespective of the quality of the game. And let's not be naive, they try this in every which way they possibly can. Secondly, Zechs, Eurogamer are dropping the scores not only for this reason, but because they put more emphasis on the critique that goes on in the body of the text, and to attempt to foster the habit of actually reading the shit wot they wrote. To say that there is very much of meaning that you can gather from a fraction at the end of a page, about a cultural product that on average could take you twelve hours or so of your time to experience, is mad. I'm not saying all people who like review scores are syphillis afflicted, just that all syphillis afflicted people like review scores. There are still scores (hurrr) of sites and publications that have got the numerical element, which you can read at any time on your undoubtedly merry traipses through the internet, bruh. So chill the fuck out. Not only that, but the existence of scores in a world with Metacritic, creates an incentive structure backed by publishers, where publications and sites are afraid to give big budget games scores outside of the 8.5-10 range because there exists the threat of access to future games made by that publisher being revoked. For reference, take what happened to 1up with the original Assassin's Creed, or Gamespot with Kane and Lynch. This only happens because say, a score of 40/100 for a game that has been scoring in the low 80s could bring the average down into the 70s. Yet another function of Metacritic, and yet another perverse incentive structure that it creates. It causes publishers to enforce an atmosphere wherein reviews and the opinions they can prospectively project are normalised within a very narrow continuum. And before anyone says "well those publications with aberrant opinions deserve to have the iron fist of publisher x brought down upon them," remember that you're a fucking idiot for thinking that, and a wide diversity of opinions about cultural products is not only to be expected, but to be celebrated. Bad juju. Getting out of that shitstream is the best thing a serious publication can do.
  2. Haha. Take it with a pinch of salt though, I just generally don't like platformers. They make me feel really nervous, and Sonic epitomises that feeling because it takes more control away from you than most platformers.
  3. Look man, I liked jerking off to lingerie catalogues when I was eleven but I'm not here fourteen years later saying that it was a great experience. Like Sonic, there's that momentary euphoria but always followed by depression and pure embarrassment.
  4. Well they own Relic and Creative Assembly, the two best strategy game developers in the world to my mind, so this is probably a propitious direction for them to take. Also Sonic is and has almost always been hot street trash, so it's about time they jettisoned it, as much as it may hurt, like a dog howling during the outbound path of the plate of splintered bones it gobbled down two decades ago.
  5. Eurogamer Drops Review Scores

    Wooooah, never expected to hear this from you man, especially recalling an epic spat we had over metacritic about 6 years ago. Couldn't agree more, games are nuanced cultural products, hence the text and lengthy discussion in the bulk of the review. You can't meaningfully reduce the experience of playing one down to a number, and have it serve as anything more than fodder for aspy spectrum bound goons to use as a way to meaninglessly heirarchise quality. They're not the first to do this, although I think they might be the biggest outlet to have done. Hoping that EDGE and Games TM follow.
  6. Two weeks in after the game's release I got the PC version for £19. Consumers know shit is fucked up, Black Flag kept RRP for months.
  7. I bought this on PC yesterday, stuck the frame limiter on Rivatuner to 40 fps, and I haven't been having many problems. Around almost every corner of this game's world is something that makes me drop the controller and shit myself. Assassin's Creed stopped being a "game" in the strictest sense quite a long time ago. For me it's mostly just a cool way to walk around a really amazing world. I don't think I've ever seen anything this gorgeous in game form. I wouldn't recommend getting it if you don't have the hardware to circumvent its optimisation problems though. I've got a 2500k overclocked to 4.5ghz and an R9 290, and there is still a frequent drop to below 30 frames. I think it's kind of worth it for the stuff I'm seeing. They've just discovered that the performance issues are due to an overloaded cpu instruction pipeline, which they're going to fix in the next patch. Hopefully it'll be possibly to play it without constantly being taken out of it by frame haemorrhaging that makes you feel like someone GHB'd the shit out of your coffee during your morning stroll past the Bastille. It's a shame, this game is a casualty of rigid deadlines in service of maximising profits rather than investing in any level of goodwill with consumers, and you can see the effects; it's being heavily discounted everywhere you look because people won't touch it with shitty stick. A few more months and it could have been a high watermark in this generation, but Ubisoft done fucked up.
  8. Grand Theft Auto 5

    Finally a Grand Theft Auto has grabbed me. I think I might even buy it again on PC, seriously this game is too good.
  9. Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare (Nov 4th)

    Call of Duty has always had aim assist though. Console shooters would be largely unplayable without it.
  10. Weight Loss and Fitness 2014

    I'll try the plank, looks like it'll be good for building up stamina since it's not really weight they can't take but more that they just tend to crap out into the fourth set. Dips pretty much work seem to work in the same way as triangles except you're bearing less weight so that probs won't be too helpful. Might just start doing kickbacks with random household objects. I've got a couple bricked xboxes sitting around somewhere
  11. Weight Loss and Fitness 2014

    What exercises do people do for triceps at home without weights, and at what kind of rep/set ratio? I've been doing triangle pushups at home but I've sort of plateaued at 24, thinking of putting some plates in a backpack and doing it that way. What say ye? Anyway, I've been back at the gym for the last month and a half doing a lean gain and trimming fat and just about got myself to being able to dumbell press 2x34s for 10 reps as my max (can do quite a bit heavier on a barbell but don't want to risk it because I don't have a spotter because I don't have any friends) but I'm being held back like a bastard by my triceps which seem to have atrophied more than any other muscle group over my year and a half absence from the gym.
  12. Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare (Nov 4th)

    I might get it in a couple days after gauging some peeps' (hurr) impressions. Is it not sodden with shitty aimbots?
  13. PlayStation 4 Console Discussion

    Well this is getting circular. I get wt u r saying doe.
  14. Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare (Nov 4th)

    I really kind of want this.
  15. PlayStation 4 Console Discussion

    You used a family guy gif which suggests that you might just be the worst person ever. I'm outta here Ps. I don't care about Evo, I was merely adducing the correlation between games that feature at Evo and their potential skill ceiling. It was some sophisticated ish, and you didn't get it.
  16. PlayStation 4 Console Discussion

    The simplicity is great but it's also the source of the skill ceiling. How good you get at the game depends largely on how quick you can learn to respond or how well you can anticipate attacks and use the sometimes confusing pathways at the edge of maps to your advantage to psych out your opponents. It's good, but it's also limited - which is fine, it's a game you can introduce anyone to and assume they're going to be competent if they have any history with platformers or 2D Action Adventures, but it's not going to be featuring at Evo. I'd argue that Smash can also be played at varying levels of seriousness. The base game is just as easy to learn as Towerfall, and far far more forgiving.
  17. PlayStation 4 Console Discussion

    Yeah I love Towerfall but you have to be on some serious ganj to even suggest that it's better than Smash Bros. Apart from Brawl which is a towering shit pie.
  18. good stuff thread.

    My girlfriend got a distinction in her Masters which means she gets to apply for PhD funding .
  19. Daftest Man Alive

    Happy Birthday bruh!
  20. good stuff thread.

    The GP told me I have a potassium deficiency on account of being strictly carnivorous. I've been eating three giant bowls of vegetables for the last two days and I'm experiencing a level of energy that is MDMA levels of extreme. You could rip my heart out and I'd still run a mile.
  21. I heard it's super old school in its approach, as if it's straight out of 2006. Still good?
  22. Speed Runs

    What do you describe as a glitch? For example. Metroid Prime speed runs depend on manipulating the lock-on/ side dash function to get the double jump boots almost the second you land on Talon, which breaks the sequence of power ups, but it's still just using the tools the game gives you.
  23. PlayStation 4 Console Discussion

    Wait you tried an Oculus and the only demo they had running was fucking TxK? That's like stepping onto the holodeck and having it simulate pong.
  24. Mate it's because constructing a proper argument where the premises, propositions and conclusions are watertight seems like untying a gordian knot to you. Maybe it's because you can't seem to be able to keep another person's argument (one repeated multiple times over the course of about six comments) in your head long enough to think of a cogent response. You can't even distinguish between what two different people are saying. Also wasn't it you that said my comment was "absolute crap"? Responding in kind doesn't make me an absolute wanker, bro, it makes you incapable of taking as good as you give. Also this: First sentence is just a fucking mess, looks like it's missing a preposition, as well as the object of the sentence it's directly quoting. I'm going to go ahead and diagnose trauma to the Broca and Wernicke's areas. There's also the classic inability to distinguish between your and you're, alas poor Yorick, did you not attend English classes in the days of yore? F-. Don't see me after class, you're ineducable.
  25. Nothing you ever say makes a fucking lick of sense. What does "how Sony arrived" have to do with anything? Who's discussing Sony's industry entrance? What bearing does that have on the present? And why does one entity's malfeasance excuse another's? Your comment is based on the poorly thought out idea that if you're criticising one company, you much be riding the jock of the other, when actually, I'm just taking the two on their respective merits at the moment. You're consistently talking shit about the consumer being "entitled," but what you fail to understand is that Ubisoft aren't entitled to my cash. I choose to give them money on occasion for the product I want. If that product doesn't transpire, I'm perfectly at liberty to say what I don't like about it and to (*shock*) not buy the product. What the fuck do I care about XBone being the "lead" platform? What does that even mean other than that Microsoft gave them a wad of cash to pare back the competing platform's version? And why the fuck should I care if it makes business sense? I'm not here to lubricate the fucking wheels of some moneyhat corporation bro, I'm here to play games I want to play. If the Xbox One version runs at 900p, that's more than evidence enough that the PS4 version can do better.