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Posts posted by Dannyboy-the-Dane

  1. Yeah, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pass this year. :( I have a bunch of stuff going on these months, so I'm going to be rather spent both time-, money- and energy-wise. Feels bad, man, having to finally skip a year, but I hope to return with a vengeance next year!

  2. Yeah, in my experience it's really only as awkward as people make it. I've expressed interest in, asked out and even gone on dates with friends without it going anywhere, and I've never had any awkwardness; for me the awkwardness stems from the uncertainty - how does she feel about me, is there any reciprocal interest, etc. Once I know how she feels, I'm all good; and I never feel like I've been met with awkwardness, either - in fact, in none of the cases has it negatively impacted the friendship to any extent that I've noticed. If anything, I feel like the openness and honesty often diminishes any potential awkwardness. (I have typed the word "awkwardness" far too many times in this paragraph.)

  3. I can't understand it at all. If I don't wake up tomorrow, I'll never know that I haven't woken up, so what's to fear?


    I fear heights, because I'm afraid of falling. I fear growing old and feeling like I've not accomplished anything in life. I fear being alone all my life. These are fears because these things can happen, and I'll know they've happened. But I'll never know non-existence. Even if it happens, I'll never know it, so how can it be something I'm afraid of?


    You keep rationalising why you shouldn't fear non-existence, but that's not my point; my point is that it can be scary on an instinctual level for us creatures who only know and are hardwired to maintain existence.


    Based on our interaction, I'm starting to think we look at the concept of fear in different ways; your view seems to be a more practical one - is there reason to fear something? - whereas I come from a more emotional perspective - why does something cause fear in people?

  4. Of course I've pondered it, been confused by it. But I don't understand fearing it, because you literally won't know that it's happened.


    But my point isn't that you fear the "feeling" or "state" of not existing when it happens, but that the idea of not existing itself can be scary while you exist, since existing is the only thing you know, and you're hardwired to maintain it. I'm not at all saying you should fear non-existence, but it baffles me a bit that you say you don't even understand that fear.

  5. Nice quote. But, non-existence is only a big worry for those who love themselves too much. Love others instead.


    Now, I don't think that's fair to say; it's a basic human instinct to survive, to maintain existence, so how is it not perfectly understandable that the idea of no longer existing can be scary? Why the need to paint people as narcissistic? The love for others can also be a reason for wanting to stay alive, to spend more time with them.


    If you're struggling to grasp the idea of not existing, what happened before you were alive?




    I've never understood the fear of non-existence. What exactly is there to fear? You're literally fearing nothing. It's not like you're aware of your non-existence in order to fear it.


    I was non-existent for 13+ billion years before I was born, and that was perfectly fine.


    It's not that it's hard to grasp from a purely logical standpoint, but are you really telling me that the idea that your mind will eventually simply cease to exist hasn't poked at some existential part of you at some point? Of course it's irrelevant once we're actually gone; the point is that the idea that we'll eventually be gone can be pretty difficult to ever truly comprehend - not to mention scary - when all we've ever known and ever will know (for obvious reasons) is existence.

  6. Yep, the woman I now work for is a nightmare and I was already struggling with my other boss so both of them is a mess.


    Its not that I cant do the actual job, its that everything thats happened coupled with who I'm now working for (someone the Bursar herself recently said could never work with) and the fact that I feel completely shat on by the school has just left me so depressed that I have no energy to carry on. Its one of those situations where I know I should just carry on but I'm not sure how much longer I can.


    I'd say you really should talk to someone about this. You can feel yourself getting worse and not knowing how much longer you can go on, which translates to "I need to seek professional help right now". Do you have a therapist or anything of the like?

  7. Went to my first meeting Friday in a small group for people with issues writing their master's thesis and other big papers, and it was really good! The other attendees were friendly, the psychologist seemed very competent, and I'm already trying out a work plan to slowly ease me into a rhythm without triggering my anxiety too much.

  8. The idea of one's own non-existence is one I think is fundamentally difficult for anyone to grasp - I know it is for me. Of course it's not a nice thought, someday not existing anymore, but at the same time I feel like I'm so far from actually truly understanding it that it's not something I go around thinking about or fearing on a daily basis. I might at some point, but I think I'm still young enough to have that subconscious "My life's gonna go on forever!" feeling where the end is still so far away that you don't even consider it ... though since hitting my twenties I'm becoming more and more aware of my age.


    Thinking back, I have actually felt the fear of running out of time, but in a very specific area: When I was still a virgin and my self-esteem was a lot lower, I genuinely feared I would never find love, and that brought on feelings of stress and a sense of impending doom - with every passing day I felt like my chances of finding a special someone and spending my life with her were diminishing. I'm so much better now, but it's still a fear that can tug in the back of my mind when I'm at my lowest.


    On a side note, when I learned about the inevitable heat death of the universe, it made me really uncomfortable - still does a little bit. At least when I die, other people will live on, but at some point ... it just ends. "Everything that has a beginning has an end, Neo." That fucks with me somewhat.

  9. An incredibly belated thanks to every one that attended on the Saturday! It was great meeting new and old faces after being on the verge of giving up on finding every one (guys, that wasn't The Cockpit!). Hope to see you guys again a couple of years down the line!


    Yeah, we realised that what we've been calling the Cockpit all these years isn't actually the Cockpit. :heh:

  10. I am, as always, trying to improve my self-esteem, and I do feel like I've been making progress. I'm also currently taking the first steps to dealing with some of my anxiety (some of which is, unsurprisingly, related to my self-esteem).

  11. So as some of you who were at the Meet already know, I didn't hand in my master's thesis August 1st as originally planned.


    I've always had exam anxiety as part of my general performance anxiety, but it's never been so bad that I couldn't handle it, even as it progressively got worse with the increasing size and difficulty of my university exams (I still did fairly well despite ending up writing most of my papers the night before). However, with my thesis, it has been absolutely terrible; my anxiety levels have been through the roof, and I realised I wasn't going to be able to do it.


    At my university we get three attempts at each exam, so I've now used my first, and my due date has been moved three months, meaning I now have to hand it in November 1st. I have also arranged a doctor's appointment, coming up Monday, to get some help with my exam anxiety; at this point I'm exhausted trying to deal with it myself, and documentation from my doctor should help me get dispensation from the three attempts rule, should it become necessary.


    After my thesis I should probably get some help with my performance anxiety and anxiety in general, but for now I'll focus on the exam aspect so I can get my thesis done.

  12. I broke up with my boyfriend on the weekend. It was an incredibly hard decision and it really tore at me to be the cause of so much pain and confusion in him.


    Nothing was bad in the relationship. In fact, everything was better than ever. Except I realised that although I loved him dearly, I wasn't in love with him anymore.


    He's my best friend.


    Aw, man, I'm so sorry. :( That is indeed a really sucky situation. But you did the only right thing. I hope you can retain your great friendship.

  13. Such a great Meet this year! :D (Well, they're always great, but y'know.) A couple of regulars were missed, but a couple of "old" faces that I hadn't seen since my first Meet showed up, which was amazing! @Fierce_LiNk and @Eenuh, who are just the sweetest, most lovely people (which I hastily and awkwardly tried to get across as we were saying goodbye on the Tube), and @jayseven, who is as charismatic and stand-up as they come (which I never properly expressed to him, the fool that I am). It was so great to meet you guys again, and I'm glad to hear you all seem to be doing well! :D


    It was also awesome to meet @Debug Mode and @jayseven's friend Ben and to properly meet @Ashley, who I may have briefly seen at a previous Meet, but never spoken to in person. :)


    And, of course, it was great to see all the rest of you again! :D


    Also, again, a massive thank-you to @Zell for having us all. It's always a blast, not to mention exceedingly practical, especially for people like me coming from afar. (But at this point I suspect he may be getting tired of me telling him. :heh:) I hope I didn't wake you (or anyone else) up as I left this morning!