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chairdriver

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Posts posted by chairdriver

  1. Posted · Edited by chairdriver

    Whilst I agree with you to a degree, the bloke is married to somebody else. He made a vow and he broke it. He may love the dude but is he IN love?

     

    I doubt their marriage vows included a clause about monogamy, especially since both were complicit in the act.

     

    There's a reason why so many married men cheat, because in many cases its boring and tedious and frustrating and depressing to exclusively sleep with one person over a long term, even if you love that person. For example, if one of the couple has a fetish the partner doesn't share, that person is always going to be sexually unfulfilled and their life experience will be worse off for it. But that doesn't stop them from loving their spouse with all their heart.

     

    The difference in this instance was that both spouses had agreed that they could have sexual relationships outside the marriage, so it wasn't cheating.

  2. Posted

    Then they should not be married. Quite frankly I think behaviour like that is disgusting.

    As a gay guy myself if a married guy asked me for sex no matter what the circumstances - it would not happen.

     

    If they are not having sex and they are bored with each other then they should never have got married. This is the problem with the majority of the gay community.

    It's all meaningless random fucks.

     

    It's why I sometimes find myself not liking being gay.

     

    Well no, they clearly loved each other. There's a distinction between love love and sexual love.

  3. Posted

    3 weeks ago I had sex with a guy who was married to a man (he was wed in The Netherlands so he was legitimately married). He had his husband hadn't had sex in 2 years because they were bored with each other, and they both have sex outside the marriage. Kinda interesting. Wasn't sure how intimate it was appropriate to be, but he seemed really chilled about intimacy.

  4. Posted

    Wasn't the old '1 in 10' figure recently....not debunked (because the closet) but seriously questioned?

     

    proportionally, I'm sure the forum is higher than average.

     

    I dunno, I always thought it has been a not really been a taken-seriously thing for like 20 years or something?

  5. Posted

    I always found that a bit strange. Like..the proportionate number of gay men on this forum is pretty high, yet there's no actual reason for that to be so.

     

    There are actually that many gays in real life, they're just all closeted, duh. [/not backed by any statistics at all]

     

     

     

    [i started writing a list of names, but then realised that's like Nazi practice or whatever. Could be dangerous if there's ever a fascist revolution (lol)]

  6. Posted · Edited by chairdriver

    I was very depressed for a period, and I remember actively thinking: "oh Christ please don't try to "cheer me up", you're being so patronising" at certain points when people'd come visit me. It was really irrational.

     

    The most significant action (that I can remember / put a finger on) which helped me was lying on my friend James' bed, actively being like "Oh god I hate life right now". We had a two hour long conversation about things. He kind of assumed a Laura Roslin-esque persona. Assigned himself the Inspiring Command feat card. He said to me: "But you won't fail your degree" / "But so what if you don't get a job? Life goes on, and you'll still be an interesting person." / "So write music. Lauryn Hill wrote one of the best albums ever and bitch only knows 3 chords" (my favourite thing anyone's ever said to me).

    It was so inspiring. I had such faith in what he was saying. It felt so devoid of condescension etcetera. Made me go out afterwards at 4 in the morning and lie in a field and look at the night sky (It was such a film moment).

     

    But yeah, I realise that's a really non-transferable story. Deal with it, I'm in a self-indulgent mood right now.

  9. Posted · Edited by chairdriver
    Automerged Doublepost

     

    The Irrepressibles - In This Shirt

     

    Can't remember where I heard it but it's nice. And lol at the preview - it gives the wrong impression.

     

    I kinda can't deal with this style of arty homoeroticism. Like, I hate looking at thin people. Especially thin people in unflattering underwear (kinda don't understand that hipster/American Apparel style of briefs). And people who look like they think they're really hot, or twinks who are actually like 25.

     

    Basically I just hate (skinny) hipsters.

     

    (I'm into the car washing though)

     

    As for the actual song (as is the concern of the thread, lol), it's one of those where you have to hear multiple times before you can make up your mind, I feel.

     

    ~~

     

    I enjoy Are You Satisfied by Marina a lot. The first line especially. So immediate.

  11. Posted

    Marriage is old fashioned, backwards and originates from religion (I think) so I hate it.

     

    Like this.

     

    The idea of two people bonding, and it being "the ultimate level" is appealing....to women, mainly and men probably don't ACTUALLY want to get married if they really think about it.

     

    Don't like this reason, since that's a massive gender stereotype. Loads of women I know are against marriage, and loads of men are really quite for it.

  12. Posted

    grace.

     

    Yes. My favourite word/concept. My mother's name is Grace, and for the longest time I was always like "Why would you call your child Grace? Gray-ce. Graice. It's so ugly."

     

    But then, when you consider it as a non-trivial thing... it's like calling your child Beauty - except that Beauty sounds shite and obvious - like, imagine being able to utter "I am Grace". It's like something an angel would say. And if you say the word over and over you understand why it means what it means, why the sounds came to represent such a stunning quality in a person, grace.

     

    I always think of Shilpa Shetty when I think of grace. Like a definitely stunning human being, old and wise, knows that grace is such a quality to have.

     

    I wish I had grace. I wish I was called Grace.

  13. Posted

    Well if you're wearing a cotton blend t-shirt and are chowing down on shrimp you're a filthy filthy bitch in the eyes of the Lord.

     

    Oh and you know that whole part on how best to treat your slaves? Loved that part.

     

    But then, I find an argument which emphasises the role of scripture often implicitly assumes that's the way everyone thinks about theology, which isn't necessarily true.

  15. Posted

    Loads of great points raised already etc etc.

     

    [insert argument about state recognition and how its not necessarily a good thing. Not interesting, but important to note]

     

    Main point I want to raise is that campaigning for only certain aspects of an LGBTQ lifestyle introduces a sort of hierarchy, where relationships that approximately fit the mould of what's conventional get the legislative rights, and the others don't. As though it's ok to be gay, but only if the forms of your relationships mimmick those of heteronormativity. Why aren't we campaigning for marriage for more than two people? Why aren't we campaigning for civil partnerships to be an option for straight people? What about trans people that find the terms 'same-sex' and 'different-sex' problematic?

     

    These are clearly rhetorical questions because politics is ruled by pragmatism, but it feels like you're a bit shunned if you suggest anything other than cisgendered monogamous marriage? It feels like people often pick and choose the bits of LGBTQ-ness they like, and then forget the rest.

  16. Posted

    But then, I have a feeling that having sex with a celebrity would be a really strange experience. You might be constantly aware of the fact they were a celebrity, meaning you wouldn't be enjoying it for what it is. And perhaps you'd have such a sense of onus on yourself to be good in the sack, in that she'd chosen you out of the millions of people who are tripping over themselves to have sex with her. And perhaps there'd be the ambiance that she was doing you a favour.

     

    [Celebrities aren't really real people.]

  20. Posted

    Won £320 at the casino last night, and for the first time in ages my mate I went with was up (a lot) too. So was double happy/. Amazing. Brings my trip streak up to 4 separate nights, minimum wins £100, and if you factor in going to different casinos, 7 trips without a loss, and total winnings of those trips just shy of £1,000.

     

    And we got an (albeit small) bonus at work this quarter/month.

     

    WIN.

     

    Are there many times when you make a net loss? (Just curious)

  22. Posted

    You know what, I'm going to apologize. I am angry. Your view makes me angry. I went to school with wanna be accountants and bankers. People who's parents actually owned skyscrapers in Hong Kong, got chauffeured to school in Bentleys. They blew through money like nothing and they felt they were better than most people because of it. And you knew, as has proved in recent years, that they'd 'succeed' in life because they were born into success.

     

    Aside, did you go to school with a Ruari C-W? (He saw you on my Facebook.)

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